This starts with a groan-making scene of a couple of space guys running through a planet full of red weeds chased by hordes of teddy bear men but don't let that put you off, the rest of "Star Trek Into Darkness" is pretty good stuff. An exciting and dynamic action movie which can be enjoyed by normal people and not just the trekkie fan boys.
A few too many scintillating action sequences though; there's a limit to how exciting watching your heroes running-really-fast can be and all the explosions, explosions already.
This is a common problem with special effects action movies; you can't hear the actors deliver their lines through all the racket and take away the special effects, what are you left with? Is there any story?
Fortunately in "Star Trek Into Darkness" there's plenty going on; Captain Kirk and Spock continue their bromance, Spock and Uhura show a side to their relationship that we havn't seen before, Leonard Nimoy makes another nostalgic guest appearance and the arch villain Khan (Booooo!!!) returns for another punt at inter-galactic world domination. It's a continuation of one of the greatest space operas with all of our favourite characters.
The new face is Benedict Cumberbatch playing a renegade Star Fleet commander. But is he really who he seems? Maybe there's more to it than that? This plot twists and turns like a Cetian eel.
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The USS Enterprise
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This is a common problem with special effects action movies; you can't hear the actors deliver their lines through all the racket and take away the special effects, what are you left with? Is there any story?
Fortunately in "Star Trek Into Darkness" there's plenty going on; Captain Kirk and Spock continue their bromance, Spock and Uhura show a side to their relationship that we havn't seen before, Leonard Nimoy makes another nostalgic guest appearance and the arch villain Khan (Booooo!!!) returns for another punt at inter-galactic world domination. It's a continuation of one of the greatest space operas with all of our favourite characters.
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| Benedict Cumberbatch plays the baddie |
Benedict does the tradition of dastardly, sneering Hollywood British villains proud. Alan Rickman would be delighted to see his performance. This is a sinister, brooding baddie with a serious attitude problem. Why is he so angry?
Don't call me Ishmael, I am not going to spoil the story for you. This is one to go and see. Klingons on the starboard bow...
And for Albert King fans, watch out for the background music in the bar when Captain Kirk is drowning his sorrows after being sacked? That's right, "Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven (but nobody wants to die)" off Albert's 1971 album "Lovejoy".
Making Sense of Star Trek
I usually enjoy Star Trek movies but there always comes a time when I feel completely baffled. Like I have fallen asleep for a bit and missed something. It's always the same; a wave of excitement runs through the audience, Spock does something vaguely odd and all the trekkie fan boys beam and cast knowing glances at each other. Once, on holiday in San Francisco, I was shocked as the audience actually stood up and cheered. What's going on?
How many Spocks are there? Why is he phoning himself? What is Khan up to, why is he drifting through eternity with a crew of frozen peas? Trying to get some sense out of the trekkies is like communing with mad men; "Right, so there's been a split in the timeline and Spock is Jesus?", "No, no, no", "You're saying that Spock's mother is a whale?". "No, you idiot! Listen to me!"
Apparently you can't understand the new Star Trek stories unless you watch the old ones. I decided that it was time to get the low down on Star Trek and discover all I needed to know about Khan and the Genesis Device. I sat through the 1980's pot boiler, "The Wrath of Khan".
Wrath of Khan
I was caught in a trekkie trap. Yes, you will learn all you ever wanted to know about the voyage of the USS Reliant and the SS Botany Bay but you can't watch this unless you are already a hard-core Star Trek fan. It may very well give you a deep and meaningful insight to the storyline of "Into Darkness" but you will do yourself a serious mischief laughing at it or suffer a nasty attack of déjà vu.
The renegade crew of the USS Reliant. Any starship crew that looks so much like the 1980's pop band Kajagoogoo can't be taken seriously and as for having a space ship called Reliant, that is a real no-no.
No one can object to Kajagoogoo but I'd rather not see them in deep space. The lead singer, Limahl was such a mild and gentle soul that the very idea that he can be some kind of intergalactic super-villain is ludicrous. Imagine being threatened by Limahl: "I'll blast you with my photon torpedoes!". "No, Limahl, don't. I've got a headache", "Oh, alright then".
Reliant, like Enterprise, is a fine nautical name for a space ship but to anyone who lives in the United Kingdom the Reliant can only ever be the Robin Reliant, a quirky three-wheeled motor car with a glass fibre body. The Reliant is very cheap to run and insure and has special place in British popular culture as the butt of all motor car jokes. Not very cool for a space ship.
The helmsman from the Reliant is a dead ringer for Claudio Caniggia, the Argentina International who did so well in the 1990 Italia World Cup. This one comes to a sticky end and is zapped by the boys from the Enterprise but I am glad to say that the real Claudio is still going strong.
For me, the biggest laugh was saved for the costumes of the USS Enterprise crew. They look so outstandingly silly, I know that this was a low-budget production but our heroes are here decked out in a sort of 19th century comic opera, ruritanian military uniform.
In the original TV series the crew wore a practical and workmanlike rig of boots, joggers and t-shirts which looked entirely believable. I know it's science fiction but to enjoy it you have to attempt to believe in it and to see the ship's company looking like they have enlisted in the Red Lancers, one of Napoleon's elite cavalry regiments, spoiled it for me. This is pure Flash Gordon.
Far from exploring strange new worlds and seeking out new life and civilisations the Red Lancers boldly went and invaded Russia in 1812 with the rest of the Grand Army. Riding horses.
Thankfully, in the "Into Darkness" production the Star Fleet uniforms are very tasteful and spiffy in a late 1990's Emporio Armani style. I've never seen a real Star Fleet officer in my life but I thought they looked the part.
Maybe I just wasn't entering into the spirit of the thing. And the next time Spock does something I don't understand, I'll let him get on with it. After all, he is Vulcan.
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| Kajagoo-who, the crew of USS Reliant |
No one can object to Kajagoogoo but I'd rather not see them in deep space. The lead singer, Limahl was such a mild and gentle soul that the very idea that he can be some kind of intergalactic super-villain is ludicrous. Imagine being threatened by Limahl: "I'll blast you with my photon torpedoes!". "No, Limahl, don't. I've got a headache", "Oh, alright then".
Reliant, like Enterprise, is a fine nautical name for a space ship but to anyone who lives in the United Kingdom the Reliant can only ever be the Robin Reliant, a quirky three-wheeled motor car with a glass fibre body. The Reliant is very cheap to run and insure and has special place in British popular culture as the butt of all motor car jokes. Not very cool for a space ship.
 |
| Claudio Caniggia? |
For me, the biggest laugh was saved for the costumes of the USS Enterprise crew. They look so outstandingly silly, I know that this was a low-budget production but our heroes are here decked out in a sort of 19th century comic opera, ruritanian military uniform.
In the original TV series the crew wore a practical and workmanlike rig of boots, joggers and t-shirts which looked entirely believable. I know it's science fiction but to enjoy it you have to attempt to believe in it and to see the ship's company looking like they have enlisted in the Red Lancers, one of Napoleon's elite cavalry regiments, spoiled it for me. This is pure Flash Gordon.
 |
| Capt. Kirk joins the Red Lancers |
Far from exploring strange new worlds and seeking out new life and civilisations the Red Lancers boldly went and invaded Russia in 1812 with the rest of the Grand Army. Riding horses.
Thankfully, in the "Into Darkness" production the Star Fleet uniforms are very tasteful and spiffy in a late 1990's Emporio Armani style. I've never seen a real Star Fleet officer in my life but I thought they looked the part.
Maybe I just wasn't entering into the spirit of the thing. And the next time Spock does something I don't understand, I'll let him get on with it. After all, he is Vulcan.
